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I don’t want to settle down. That’s not what love is anyway, you can’t have love that’s settled down. It has to be bruising, exciting, painful, wonderful and…everything that I need right now. I’m alone, more alone than I’ve ever been in my life. They say love is like a drug, like the best feeling in the world times four. I think it must be more like you’re just about to commit suicide, and you jump off the cliff, ready to die…then you grow wings. That must be it. It has to save you from everything you’ve ever been afraid of and everything that could ever hurt you. I’m scared to death of something that powerful taking over my life, but I want it more than I can express. I want the poetry of it, more than anything else. It’s romantic and soul-devouring stuff. Or at least, it must be…it has to be. It’s all I believe in anymore. Aside from the life-changing and heart-crushing power of it, though, I want the small things that go along with giving your soul to another person. I want. My legs were still weak and shaking from the intensity of my orgasm so I moved back laid down on the bed and rested. I could feel my body still quivering and I was still gasping for air as if I had just run a race. I closed my eyes for a few minutes and tried to control my breathing and heart rate like I had been taught. With them shut I could still see the young man and his huge erection, which did little slow things down. I’ve no idea how long I laid there, probably about 5 minutes, but when I got up and looked out, he was gone. My heart sank. I watched for several more minutes, but he never showed, so I cleaned up, got dressed and went about the rest of my day. Periodically I would go upstairs and look, but never saw him the rest of the day. The next morning, I said goodbye to Jerry and wished him a good day at the office. After watching him drive away, I hurried upstairs and set a chair by window and watched to see if the young man would appear again. About 20 minutes later, he.
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